Falling into (a new) Place

This summer (and most of the year, thus far) has been pretty difficult. There’s been a web of internal struggles regarding lack of career and personal fulfillment, mixed in with emotional strain from my uncle’s passing a couple months ago.

But the summer fades as autumn rolls in, kicking me into the last quarter of the year. I packed my bags to move out of state, chasing a master’s degree, and hopefully new career opportunities. New life is unfolding as my nephew was born a few weeks ago, and more family members announced they’re expecting. All my friends are on the verge of having their lives changed drastically – new careers, new places, new relationships (and maybe the end of some old ones).

Figuring out where I belong in a new environment is tough. There are days where the lack of normality feels heavy. It’s the feeling of being in school again, doing homework, assignments, projects, like being here was in another life. The pressure of finding a social circle when you’re the new kid in town is anxiety inducing. Finding another job to supplement the influx of costs moving out and grad school incurred, is stressful.

I know there’s importance to the apprehension I feel to keep moving out of my comfort zone.

There’s a lot to carry, but this time I’m ready for it.

I feel refreshed, excited in possibility.

There’s growth in the unknown,

And I’m feeding this energy.